She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
