I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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