Christians are straight up FREAKS
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
