Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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