38 yer olds are good kisserssss
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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