someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
