very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
