My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
