Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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