I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dignity is for republicans.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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