He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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