ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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