this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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