Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
