When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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