im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize