Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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