...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
