Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
