I have demons in me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
