is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She tied me up with her honor cords...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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