RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
