Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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