i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
