JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
