Your face is a jimmy john
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
