And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize