He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
