Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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