i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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