respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
