Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
