I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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