She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize