Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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