I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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