I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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