i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
