I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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