all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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