The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
