38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
