White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
