I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
