haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
