That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
