just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
