It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
