It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
