In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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