I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My penis needs a shock collar
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
