sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
