Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
