My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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