Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
