What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
