Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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