the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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