He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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