remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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