I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
